Title: Dubbed

acast Time: 56:05
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: August 15, 2022
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s just been knocking his balls around in a kids’ show at the Pleasance.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Leith Sunshine Terminated Podcast

Cool Kids
I was talking to the Cat in the Hat just now at the Pleasance.

Guest Best Known
For playing Jabari in The Curse of King Tut’s Tomb.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?

I just want to clarify: This isn’t because we invented yoga. You ask everyone? No. And not because I don’t think I’d reach. I’m just not convinced it would taste good. My diet is horrible. You know, I don’t want to, like, taste my own cock and be like, Redbull? No, I’d fill up on cranberry juice and pineapple. Thank you, two ladies who know what I’m talking about, by the way.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Yes. Twice, I’ve seen a ghost. One, I was… I went to a college that is a very old college. It’s a hundred and fifty years old I was… So these dormitories, you know, ancient. Abraham Lincoln gave a speech at my college and all of that stuff in the US. And I was sleeping on the bed. You know, college kids get those shitty spring mattresses that are plastic underneath because of the shit that they do on those mattresses, right? And at some point I was sleeping in the middle of the afternoon and I just felt the mattress depress. So I could feel somebody sitting on the end of the mattress. And then, uh,  was talking a nap and I kind of looked at it. There was nobody there. They mattress was just depressed and then as I looked at it, it just went *makes unknown gesture* and somebody got up. And I was just like, “Whoever you are, please don’t rape me.” I don’t know if ghosts can. And then the next time I was, uh, in my apartment and I was on my futon and I was watching TV. It was one of those – You know, this was before plasma TVs; it was one of those big TVs. And I had two remotes that were lying on top of the TV. I think there was a big sound two remotes just going *makes dropping noise* and kind of flew off the television, right? And because I was a bachelor of course there was no back lids on the remotes. And I kind of went and picked up the remotes and the batteries were gone. So I ended up looking around the apartments just to find batteries and I couldn’t find them. They had clearly rolled over somewhere or other. I ended up turning the corner, coming back, sitting  down on my couch, and – I swear to God – between my legs on the floor: four perfectly-placed batteries in line. Like they were packed in a Duracell packet. Just, like, a helpful ghost. Like a housekeeping ghost.

If you could go into a chrysalis and turn into anything else – you can melt in there if you want – and you still have your memories, what would you turn into on the other side?

Jay-Z. I’d like to come out as Jay-Z. Yeah, not for any of… Just for Beyoncé. Like, fuck his empire. Fuck all that other shit. I don’t care. Just Beyoncé. I’d like to be Jay-Z.

Which celebrity have you been uncoolest in the company of?

I’m uncool around all of them. There’s an Indian lady who’s very famous, big actress called Priyanka Chopra. I don’t know if you guys have heard of her. She’s amazing. And the first time I met her we were on a flight and she was coming back from South Africa and she clearly wanted to talk because she was jet lagged and awake. And  was just so nervous because she was talking to me. She was like, “Hey Vir, how are you?” I was like, “You must be tired.” And she was like, “What?” I’m like, “How long have you been awake?” “Like, twelve hours.” “Go to sleep!” And so I just bullied her into going to sleep because I was too nervous to talk to her. Yeah, I think that might be it.

Notes

Recorded at the Assembly Ball Room in Edinburgh as part of the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.