Title: Stump

acast Time: 57:24
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: August 17, 2022
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s five days in and he’s already knackered.

Acronym Modification
Richard Herring’s Lewis Sovereigns Tantalized Podcast

Cool Kids
I was talking to the Lewis chessmen.

Guest Best Known
For her appearance on The 100 Greatest Christmas Moments of 2004.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

I think I would like the big elephant that was in the Kelvingrove Art Gallery that’s got memories of being a child there. Who remembers going to the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and seeing the big elephant? Anybody? Yep, that’s what I want. I want the big elephant. No, I think it was a big elephant thing. Was it a skeleton? It looked like a big elephant that had been taxidermied. Am I right? *Audience responds in the affirmative.* And then I could say, every five minutes, “Let’s address the elephant in the room.” The elephant at Kelvingrove is the answer.

If you could go into a chrysalis and turn into anything else – you can melt in there if you want – and you still have your memories, what would you turn into on the other side?

George Clooney’s jockstrap.

Which toy did you always want for Christmas but never received?

A chopper bike. Aw, I fucking really wanted a chopper bike. My mom’s [unclear] and the kids across the one had one and I was insanely jealous of them and I always wanted a chopper bike. And just least year we went to this  – ‘Cause [JG’s dog] Honey’s got this wee pram because she can only walk two miles and we walked six miles; so she’s got a wee pram we push her in. And we had to get the tires pumped up and the guy had a chopper bike outside and I sat on it. And I said to my husband, “Please buy me this.” And he said, “No. You’re not getting a chopper bike. You’ll fall off it and die.” I really want a chopper bike. *RH points out that JG could buy herself a chopper bike.* I could, but he’s, like, “Go on, you’ve nowhere to keep it and you’re going to fall off it and bang into people. You’re already spatially unaware-” Which I am. And I also – I think I was always wanted, the other thing I always wanted was a Kitty Copycat. It was a doll that if you drew, she drew. It was just that kind of, yeah, thing that you went like that and she was copying you. Because I got quite a lot of lines at school so she could have done that for me, you know? I will not be cheeky to Ms. Handyside, the PE teacher.

Notes

Recorded at the Assembly Ball Room in Edinburgh as part of the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

This is JG’s third appearance.

RH notes that if he could take an item from the National Museum of Scotland, he would select one of the Lewis chessmen pieces.