Title: Rolf Harris’ Creepy Toes

acast Time: 1:18:25
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: September 12, 2022
acast Publication Date: September 14, 2022
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s about to start his 25th series of this podcast.

Acronym Modification
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Cool Kids
I was talking to Nicholas Witchell the other day – the correspondent. He’s very good at his job. He told me that he imagined that in the privacy of their own homes the Royal Family call it…

Guest Best Known
The additional Vogon voices in the disappointing Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: Much better than the audience we’ll have in three weeks’ time.
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Member Member Note
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Emergency Questions

Do you think the photo that will accompany your obituary has yet been taken or do you think it will come in the future?

Yes. Well, I wonder which one it will be. It will already be picked out, won’t it? It’s a creepy thought. *RH and RS discuss the strong association between Michael Hordern and the character of Paddington Bear. RH notes how RS could be associated with a Paddington character as well.* I was Mr. Curry, yeah.

If you had to do a human centipede with two other people, if you had to, but you could choose the two other people, and you’re in the middle, who would you choose?

In front, Christopher Lee, and behind, John Landis.

If you could go into a chrysalis and turn into anything else – you can melt in there if you want – and you still have your memories, what would you turn into on the other side?

Stretch Armstrong. It was just very appealing, wasn’t it, to pull the arms and tighten them? And the other thing I liked was the Steve Austin, with his bionic arm where you could roll back. You looked through his eye and you could roll the skin on his arm back and reveal machinery inside. I don’t know what it was about rolling back, peeling back. I just liked doing it.

Which toy did you always want for Christmas but never received?

I went, I think, to Fountains Abbey on a school trip, and I came back and I bought with some change money that I was given – You could buy lunch with it. I didn’t eat lunch and I bought a fountain pen. It was a little pen but it had a peacock feather on it. Quite extravagant. I thought I was a little writer and I bought this thing and brought it home. And I had it in the house. And then I remember one afternoon my dad coming in drunk, “Where’s that fucking peacock pen?” He lost on the horses and he blamed the peacock feather in the house. “That fucking feather…” Blaming the feather. I said, “It’s in my room.” “I’ll fucking kill you for having that feather in here.” He brought it in and threw it on the fire. And that’s why I am like I am. He knows. He’s said he’s sorry. And then Christmases were always an endeavor to have us not creep down and look at the presents before the morning. Culminating with my dad binding with rope the door to the living room, to  the front door, with rope tied. And I was down at three in the morning unpicking it all. And then he knew because he came down and I’d put some of the presents back in the wrong order. “You’ve been down, haven’t you? How did you fucking get passed the knots?” Anyway, but it was a happy childhood.

Notes

This is RS’s second appearance.

At the 1:06:40 time mark, RS gives a humorous mediumship demonstration, including contacting Bill Hicks. RS also gives a magic demonstration.

RH notes that one of his favourite RHLSTP-related memories was arm-wrestling Simon Munnery.