Title: Captain Dick

acast Time: 1:12:13
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: November 30, 2022
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who’s been cut up from the butt up.

Acronym Modification
N/A

Cool Kids
I was talking to a bloke in a McLaren Orange sportscar who tried to… This was on the drive up. I wanted to talk about it today. I’d never seen a McLaren sportscar actually on the road before. It was actually quite exciting. It’s a very expensive car. I pulled up along side him, and then he got ahead of me and was sort of weaving between the traffic. And then I saw him get into an argument in front of him and he tried to drive him off the road. And was trying to have a fight with him and the driver carried on, so he just called him “a wanker” out the window. After another van driver called me a bastard after her cut me up as well. I’ve been cut up a lot. Anyway, both of those people call it…

Guest Best Known
For her appearance on Roland Rat: The Series.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
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Member Member Note
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Emergency Questions

Do you think the photo that will accompany your obituary has yet been taken or do you think it will come in the future?

*RH notes that it is extremely likely to be a photo of AR in the jumpsuit from Treasure Hunt or Challenge Anneka.* Yeah, I don’t even bother not wearing a jumpsuit. I mean, I don’t even go there because it’s like a uniform, isn’t it? It’s so funny because I posted something on Instagram yesterday, which was a photo I found of me when I was a news reader in my very early twenties. I was working as a journalist and a news reader in Hong Kong. And I’m this very serious young lady in a silk blouse and little gold chain. Unrecognizable to this lunatic that I then became… And it’s so interesting, that Sliding Doors moment, isn’t it?

If you could go into a chrysalis and turn into anything else – you can melt in there if you want – and you still have your memories, what would you turn into on the other side?

I’ve always wanted to be an elephant. Is that the sort of answer you meant? Will we be in nature? I find elephants rather noble and wonderful. I quite like the thought also of being in a family of elephants; it’s a truly perfect small community. You could trample on people. I was thinking more of living actually, you know, in Africa or India. I’d just be in my own community, trampling on others.

Are you proud of yourself?

No, I’m not actually. I mean, I know that’s not the sort of answer you’re meant to give. You’re meant to go, “Well, actually…” And it sounds like false modesty but I’m not particularly, no. No, because… No. No. There was that time I killed someone. I ran someone over in Hong Kong, let’s face it, didn’t I? I didn’t kill them. They didn’t die at all. They just sort of splattered down the windscreen slightly. Well, I was going five miles an hour and this person was high on whatever you get high on.

Notes

This is AR’s second appearance.

During this interview AR has requested to sit on the side normally reserved for RH, with RH sitting on the side normally reserved for guests.

RH notes that he has a recurring dream where he has to re-take his Maths A-levels for his degree, despite having done well on them in waking reality.

RH reveals that after Alex Horne heard AR’s first RHLSP episode he asked her to join the cast of The Horne Section TV Show.