Title: Embracing Your Delicious Fate

acast Time: 59:05
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: May 10, 2023
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who has good news for people who want to pull at Pizza Express.

Acronym Modification

Cool Kids
I was hanging out with the Crash Test Dummies. The band, the Crash Test… Remember them? They call it Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm… They call it…

Guest Best Known
For her appearance on Colchester Zoo and Friends: Bringing the Zoo To You.


Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note

Emergency Questions

Do you think if you have sex with a robot that should count as cheating on your partner?

No, it’s sweet because what you’ve asked is a hypothetical question that you would like there to be a very specific answer to. So, I sort of have to agree with you. Yeah, it’s fine. I would bum a Richard Herring sex robot. Everyone would do that. Imagine, like, finding out… They finally made sex robots, “That’s amazing, yeah! It’s Richard Herring?” Just ’cause we fancied that.

Artificial Intelligence: If a genie granted you three wishes, but one of the conditions was that you had to make one of your enemies happy, who would you choose and why?

That’s great. That’s great, because it’s a round-about way of making my problems better. I’d just, I’d just wish that J. K. Rowling was really happy. Because then my life would be fun. Everything would be fine then. She wouldn’t be so distracted by it all. Also, I never met her. She’s probably fun. She’s probably fine. And then two more wishes, I’ve got? It’s all coming up Jordan. I’d wish for a Richard Herring sex robot. And I wish that Channel 4 would let me set myself on fire.

Artificial Intelligence: What would be a good emergency use for a giant Toblerone?

Sort of like a winch? What is it called when you put *makes motion with hands* – I know it’s a podcast, but, like, this is a visual medium. When you want to lift something, you put it underneath like that. *RH suggests that JG is thinking of a lever.* A lever.

Artificial Intelligence: What is the most ludicrous thing you’ve ever done in the name of love?

I broke up with my fourteen year-old girlfriend when I was fourteen. […] And then I thought, It’s really important that she knows how heart-broken I am. So I was in a band, I was in a grindcore band, “RAWR, RAWR, RAWR…” Like that. And then she comes to the gig and I’d written on my chest in red lipstick, “Broken Heart.” Like someone’s going to see that and go, “Oh; probably got a  broken heart. I wonder who did that.” […] But that same night, I should tell this story. We have time for me to tell a short story? That same night – Oh, it’s so embarrassing. I was a little goth when I was a kid. Behind the drum kit we used to hang up black bin bags behind the drum kit of my band so it looked really, really cool. And then we’d run out of bin bags, so I hung up my goth black bedsheets behind the drum kit, which looked amazing. And then at ten o’clock at night then switched off the lights and the UV lights came on. And I was standing with my broken heart and this glow-worm massacre behind me. I think she left. I think she just left.

Artificial Intelligence: What would happen if a potato had consciousness and became self-aware? Would it try to escape from the frying pan, or embrace its delicious fate? And if it did escape, would it go on to lead a fulfilling life, or just rot away in obscurity?

You can see the development of AI in that question because it’s job was ask a question, and then it got a bit too excited and started telling a whole story. *RH asks JG what the potato’s fate would be.* I don’t think that’s the important part of this at all. This is the robot I’m curious about. Alright. A potato, if it came alive, it’d probably be able to see all around itself because it’s got loads of eyes. And it would take one look at the world and it would throw itself back in the frying pan.

If you had to do a human centipede with two other people, if you had to, but you could choose the two other people, and you’re in the middle, who would you choose?

Well again, one of the beautiful things about being transgendered is you get to surprise people. I’d like them to say, “Oh yeah, there’s going to be a woman in the middle. You’re gonna enjoy that.” And then just […] see the happiness drain from their eyes, whoever’s behind me. No, it’s relative, it’s relative. It’s hard, that. It’s a very hard thing. Bros. There you go. Because what’s great about that it, mathematically, it’s identical, so I’ve not given anyone any special treatment. *RH asks about the placement of the twins, noting that one of the Bros twins has had plastic surgery.* I want the work done in front of me. I want to see that work up close.

If you could go into a chrysalis and turn into anything else – you can melt in there if you want – and you still have your memories, what would you turn into on the other side?

*RH notes that JG has already undergone a literal transformation.* Yeah, myself. That’s nice. You’re right; you’ve hit it right on the head. I’d come out as me with slightly nicer teeth.


RH reveals that he once cleaned the elephant enclosure as part of The Twelve Tasks of Hercules Terrace.

RH mentions that he attended school with the members of the band Bros.

JG reveals that she has been gifted a mug that says, “I was a guest on RHLSTP and all I got was this lousy mug.”

Reference made to previous interview with guest Ricky Wilson, which will not be released.

When asking the potato emergency question, RH notes that the AI comments upon its own intelligence. RH states that this arrogance gives cause to fear AI.

RH expresses wish to interview the members of the band Bros.