Please Welcome a Man

Episode	Guest	Please Welcome a Man
1	Tim Minchin	He’s the king of Edinburgh, now he’s the new mayor of London.
2	Jonathan Ross	His dad eats lip balm.
3	Francesca Martinez	Who claims that he can suck his own penis.
4	Charlie Higson	Who’s had a shit against a wall 50 yards from his front door.
5	Charlie Brooker	The creator of the Elderly James Bond Chronicles.
6	Nick Frost	Who’s just done a big fart and is aware that Nick Frost is going to have to stand around in it for five minutes and he’s hoping that he’s not going to waft it through the curtain with him.
7	David Baddiel	Who doesn’t believe it’s possible to put human morality into penguins.
8	Stewart Lee	He’s backstage now, shooting a rod of semen into his own mouth.
9	Graham Linehan & Armando Iannucci	Who has been wanked off by the hand of a hundred-year-old ventriloquist dummy.
10	Rob Delaney	N/A
11	Steve Pemberton & Reece Shearsmith	Jim fixed it for him to have his own interview show.
12	Peter Serafinowicz	Right, you plebs. It’s time you know your place.
13	David Mitchell	He’s had lunch with Alice Cooper; he had too many drinks and he’s probably going to fall asleep.
14	Dave Gorman	He’s been selected to present this by a blindfolded boy picking a ball out of a bowl.
15	Adam Buxton	He’s just cleaned his penis with a willy brush.
16	Russell Howard	What? She’s pregnant? God, I knew I should have used a condom.
17	Chris Addison	N/A
18	Stephen Fry	Who if he becomes Dr. Who will tell everyone what his name is straight away.
19	Mary Beard	A man who can makes stars open up even better than Piers Morgan.
20	John Lloyd	He may be quite old but he can still do it two times in a night.
21	Russell Brand	Who’s had ten orgasms in a single night and, unlike cheating Russell Brand, didn’t have anyone to help him.
22	Edgar Wright	He can’t play Subbuteo but knows how to chat!
23	Mark Thomas	Who’s gonna sing a Queen song then do a shit on stage.
24	Isy Suttie	Who the other day his wee smelled of asparagus even though he hadn’t eaten asparagus.
25	Sean Hughes	Who according to this Ouija board is going to have sex two more times before he dies.
26	Shappi Khorsandi	Who’s been making crystal meth in a pumpkin with a very special ingredient.
27	Rufus Hound	Who’s just been sucking on a tit full of talc.
28	Miranda Hart	Who would run 3.1 miles but who will not run 3.1 miles more.
29	Miles Jupp	Who if you heckle him, or even if you don’t, he’ll hit you with an electrified tennis racket.
30	Dara Ó Briain	Who’s just eaten a whole large pack of giant chocolate buttons all on his own.
31	Ross Noble	Who can’t be relied upon to help you if you collapse on an airplane.
32	Simon Pegg	Whose finger is this very moment travelling in time.
33	Stephen Merchant	Who just completed the pilot script of Square Pegg in a Round Hole.
34	Adam Buxton	Who’s never had a fifth series of anything before but he’s now his own commissioning editor.
35	Jenny Eclair	Who when he’s orgasming when having sex with a fan, shouts “Moon on a stick!”
36	Helen & Olly	Who has just had his towel nicked at the swimming pool.
37	Robert Llewellyn	Whose penis is currently travelling in time and is inside Joan of Arc. Man she’s hot.
38	Alexei Sayle	With an infected finger.
39	Greg Davies	Who’d like to say “Very sorry” to Colin Baker.
40	Danny Baker	Who knows when International Men’s Day is.
41	Josie Long	Who is now saying more words than he has done in the last hour and fifteen minutes.
42	Harry Shearer	Announced by Harry Shearer: “Mr. Richard Herring!”
43	Susan Calman	Who’s just putting the finishing touches to his Holocaust comedy film.
44	Jon Ronson	Who wants to be stroked by Goldie the Dog as he dies.
45	Nick Helm	Trying out his new Frank Sidebottom tribute act.
Machynlleth Special	Mike Wozniak	Who has been farting all the way in his car driving here for the last six hours and there is a smell in his car.
46	Katherine Ryan	*In robot voice.* This is robot voice.
47	Mark Gatiss	Who is happy to send a picture of his erect penis to every single viewer and listener to this podcast. Just tweet me and ask for it and I will send it to you.
48	Brendon Burns	Who currently has chafed nipples.
49	James Acaster	Who isn’t even the go-to guy when they’re looking for someone with his face.
50	Steve Coogan	Who yesterday ran 13.1 miles and is slightly stiff.
51	Sara Pascoe	It’s been over a week since he did that half marathon, yet he’s still stiff! I don’t understand what’s happening!
52	Sarah Millican	They thought he was shooting dust but one got through.
53	Rebecca Front	Who was eating a Cornetto that he has technically paid for.
54	Josh Widdicome	Who has a new notebook.
55	Andy Zaltzman	Who is the pick ‘n’ mix Robin Hood.
56	Richard Osman	Who’s part of the 200 club on Pointless – why didn’t I say Joe Daltry‽
57	Michael Legge	Who has just eaten a Stinger Chew Bar. It was as bad as he remembered.
58	Milton Jones	Who says find another place ’cause you can’t play here, spreading all your nits about.
59	Victoria Coren Mitchell	Who’s just been Googling “child’s writing desk”.
60	Sue Perkins	Who this week recorded an episode of Pointless and did better than he did the first time he was in Pointless. It would have been hard for him to do worse.
61	Ben Goldacre	Who secretly has a Christmas cake hidden on the set.
62	Paul Putner & Trevor Lock	The host of Richard Herring’s Leicester Square Theatre Podcast. It is Richard Herring!
63	Stewart Lee	Well, this is a very, very special podcast because Richard Herring is in it. Please welcome him it’s Richard Herring!
RHLSTPBATSSII	Sofie Hagen	Who isn’t entirely sure where he is.
64	Bob Mortimer	Who’s just walked up 197 steps at the Covent Garden tube. It’s more than you think it’s gonna be.
65	Lou Sanders	Who hasn’t eaten asparagus but who’s wee just smelled of asparagus, genuinely, and he’s a bit freaked out.
66	Emma Kennedy	There has definitely not been an embarrassing hiatus just then as Richard Herring got his paper.
67	Romesh Ranganathan	Who’s been drinking a delicious Yazoo backstage and Vince Clarke is furious about it.
68	Robert Webb	This is the first time you have seen him tonight.
69	Louis Theroux	Who loves the movie mistake Robert Webb […]; it’s his favourite show.
70	Roisin Conaty	Who this week genuinely nearly choked to death.
71	Johnny Vegas	Who has just been on eBay buying as many Amstrader emailer phones as he can find.
72	Mark Watson	Don’t be scared.
73	Robin Ince	Who plans to build a dry stone wall during this show.
74	Rob Delaney & Sharon Horgan	Who’s very prepared for this. So prepared for this podcast that the audience is in awe and excited about it.
75	Jessica Hynes	Who has done nothing that his mother was not expecting.
76	Bridget Christie	Who turned 48 yesterday, and drank more than a 48 year-old man should, as you will discover when you see him trying to speak.
77	Brett Goldstein	Who has just noticed that his chair has a massive piss or shit stain on it that is not his own.
78	Paul Sinha	Who has just been sick in the back of his throat as he was doing a wee.
79	Al Murray	Who doesn’t know what letter Luton Town begins and ends with.
80	Limmy	It’s nearly the last one of the series.
81	Joe Lycett	It’s the last one in the series!
82	Stuart Goldsmith	Who is very disturbed about certain people who are trying to stop robot sex from happening and that has become a big news story, I think, as a result of this podcast.
83	Diane Morgan	Who’s never had his marmite-y penis licked by a cat.
84	Lee Mack	Whose wife has been vomiting all night long, he hasn’t had any sleep, and is quite worried he’s picked up whatever bug she had, so may vomit on you during the show tonight.
85	Janey Godley	Who’s going to beg you for permission to cum.
86	Robert Popper	*Robert Popper’s prank phone call to the Leicester Square Theatre plays.* Who’s apparently quite like marmite according to the people trying to sell the fucking tickets.
87	Luisa Omielan	Who’s worried he’s eaten a lot of weevils by mistake.
88	John Finnemore	Who might vomit during this podcast. Genuinely might, so keep – if you’re listening on audio, go to the video to watch this. Could be worth it.
89	Sarah Kendall	Who might be wearing a pyjama top. I can’t quite work it out.
90	Eddie Izzard	Who’s still wearing his pyjamas from last week. What’s wrong with him?
91	Phill Jupitus	Who this weekend was an answer on Pointless. Yeah, that’s right.
92	Jack Whitehall	Who can cure or cause cancer with his finger, so you better be a good audience; every other one of you.
93	John Robins	He’s like a caterpillar who’s changed into a butterfly in front of your eyes.
94	David Mitchell	*RH is accidentally seen through the curtain.* You’ll never guess who’s coming on now.
95	Hal Cruttenden	He didn’t want you to look at him but now he wants you to look at him!
96	Scroobius Pip	Who helped compile the 1990 West London phonebook.
97	Aisling Bea	Who has just realized that every week Stewart Lee leaves his toothbrush in the dressing room. What a foolish, foolish man he is.
98	Ray Peacock	A man is shaking his head, looking at me backstage.
99	Cariad Lloyd	Who has just put Stewart Lee’s toothbrush up his urethra.
100	Richard Bacon	Who has had two 8 year-old girls at the penis-level of his naked penis. It was alright though.
101	Iain Lee	The big question everyone’s asking is this series which Rich will it be? Will it be fat Rich or slightly less fat Rich? He’s a man who spent his Saturday morning kneeling on the floor between Bonnie Langford and a woman off of Towie, pretending to move a small piece of paper around as if it was a human being. I think that happened.
102	Tony Law	Who if he developed time travel abilities would only use them to for morally impeccable reasons.
103	Lauren Laverne	Who yesterday was at a baby disco. It’s alright, he’s got a baby, it’s allowed.
104	Ben Bailey Smith	Who has not had sex with Robert the Robot (not yet).
105	Marcus Brigstocke	Who has been described by his own 16 month-old daughter in card-form as “my fantastic dad”.
106	David Cross	Who is the lifetime president of the Shipwreck Museum in Charlestown.
107	Vic Reeves	Who even thought it happened months ago is still really upset about the whole Euro referendum thing.
108	Susie Dent	Who since last week has had sex with a baboon and Vic Reeves was right.
109	Nish Kumar	Who is genuinely wondering whether all the events of 2016 are his fault.
110	Matthew Crosby	Who’s been waiting a whole week to find out what happened in that Croydon school-based version of Waiting for Godot.
111	Graham Linehan	Who is currently wondering how old his dental floss is.
112	Sofie Hagen	Where there has been an emergency! Please welcome a man who will carry on the show whatever comatose state you manage to get yourself into.
113	Russell Kane	Who tomorrow will spend his day in bed with his wife’s best friend, who will be fellating him. And that is true.
114	Tim Minchin	Who has had an indecent proposal from a TV star. He’s going to tell you all about it.
115	Tom Parry	Who genuinely passed Lee Ryan from Blue in Shepherd’s Bush just a few minutes ago.
116	Elis James	Who is renowned for his professionalism.
Great Yorkshire Fringe Special	Dave Taylor	Who is probably the world’s most famous York City supporter, apart from Guy Mowbray.
Great Yorkshire Fringe Special	Mark Addy	Who is the next Lord Mayor of York. It can’t be that hard, can it?
Podcast Festival Extra	Dan Schreiber	Who has just appeared on Pointless Celebrities for the third time.
117	Armando Iannucci	Who has a sexually transmitted disease.
118	Hans Teeuwen	Who’s still ill. It was a week ago! What’s going on? What’s wrong with this man’s immune system?
119	Dane Baptiste	Who just yesterday afternoon was administering CPR outside the MI5 building by Voxer on the Thames and that is true.
120	Caitlin Moran	Who has just spent half-an-hour talking to a 125 year-old man, and that is true.
121	Will Smith	Who went to school where art was taught by Rick Buckler’s brother though he was never personally taught by Rick Buckler’s brother. It was… Can’t remember the name of the person who taught me now. Shame, isn’t it?
122	Tony Robinson	Who is now obsessed with Brian Blessed.
123	Kerry Godliman	Who just two days ago had diarrhea and then vomited on his diarrhea and then had diarrhea on his vomit and then vomited on that diarrhea.
124	Chris Addison	Who’s realized one thing he can’t say is “opprobrium”.
125	Ed Gamble	Who is eating a cheese lollipop right now. Mmm, delicious.
126	Deborah Frances-White	Who died on this very spot exactly ten years ago. Have you ever seen a ghost? You will have now!
127	Dawn French	Who is a guilty feminist, sort of.
128	Tom Davis	Who doesn’t know who the next President of the United States is. You do, don’t you? But he doesn’t!
129	Susan Calman	For the first post-president elect Trump podcast. Will you please welcome a man who’s quite upset about that?
130	Jess Thom	Who can’t believe he didn’t even try his Scottish accent once in the last podcast.
131	Sarah Millican	Who was standing in an unpleasant fart cloud about two hours ago in a tube, which was not his own.
132	Simon Munnery	Who is tired of London and tired of life but neither of them will let him go.
133	Lucy Porter	Who this morning woke up with a mysterious round mark on his wrist that he cannot explain. He wasn’t even drink last night.
134	Peter Serafinowicz	Who has never, in his memory at least, had an altercation with a shepherd.
Wells Comedy Festival	Bec Hill	A man who hates Wells and doesn’t think it deserves to be a city.
135	Paul Merton	Who this week irked a postman.
136	Joe Thomas	Who this time has not managed to think of anything to say in that short walk between coming off stage, doing the bit before, and then coming on.
137	Jessica Knappett	Who has spent this afternoon clearing up some cat wee.
138	Adam Buxton	Who just paid 5p for a Twirl, effectively. Yeah, find out how.
139	Zoe Lyons	Who has quite badly cut his finger today and needs a plaster; that’s how bad it was.
140	Andrew Collins	Who against the advice of last week’s guest has had half a beer; and I think you will notice the difference.
141	David Baddiel	Who for the last two days has fallen asleep at 2:00 in the afternoon, but not today so he might fall asleep during the podcast.
Great Yorkshire Fringe Special	Rahul Kohli / Martin Barrass	Who doesn’t know where he is.
142	Brendon Burns & Craig Quartermaine	Who has in the last week taken a trip to the Taj Mahal, just for his own purposes.
143	Dan Skinner	Who has just handled David Baddiel’s laptop and is wishing he’d washed his hands before he came onto the stage.
144	Katy Brand	Who thinks that his car is secretly pining for his previous owner.
145	Julian Clary	Who is having a Twirl inserted somewhere right now.
146	Limmy	Who is still very much in his forties. Very much so.
147	Arthur Smith	Who is willing to talk about the tactics of Monopoly for a lot longer than most other people would think is reasonable.
148	Robert Webb	Who has recently irked Michael Portillo.
149	Ed Byrne	Who now lives in the countryside and loves the way that that turns his whole life into an action film.
150	Sara Pascoe	Who this week briefly considered becoming someone pretending to be a chartered accountant.
151	Ellie Taylor	Who hasn’t lived in London for two months and does not approve of your change in sky colour – that was a mistake, London.
152	Armando Iannucci	Who has been spending the weekend looking at his son’s red buttocks.
153	Rachel Parris	Who has lost three times on Pointless Celebrities and if he goes on again and loses again that has beaten the law of averages. Just one time out of four, he should just win just by chance.
154	John Moloney	Who had nearly five hours’ sleep last night and feels that was a lot.
155	Jan Ravens	Who saw Duncan from Blue in Crewe this week.
156	Ed Miliband & Geoff Lloyd	Who is at this very moment transforming like a caterpillar into a show business butterfly.
157	Greg Jenner	Who has already been called the 21st-century Frost/Nixon.
158	Simon Brodkin	Who this week was belittled by a scaffolder.
159	Richard Osman	Who has just found out that his daughter created the Muppets.
160	Reginald D. Hunter	You definitely have not seen at all this week – at all. Or last week, or this week. This is the first time he’s come onto stage.
161	Johann Hari	Who is mourning the loss of his toddler, who has just been eaten by Jan Ravens.
162	Katy Wix	Who currently has a Drifter in his anal passage and is trying to generate electricity.
163	Paul Chowdhry	Who, like a ghoul, has just been down to Oxford Circus to see where the events of last Friday didn’t happen.
164	Dave Gorman	Who has just been told “Goodbye” by one of his audience, even though he isn’t even on stage yet. How did that happen?
165	Kathy Burke	Whose house is trying to kill him.
166	Adam Kay	Who is regretting the fact he didn’t do his Nil By Mouth joke after Kathy Burke talked about Perry giving blowjobs. It would have been brilliant.
167	John Robins & Elis James	Who spent a day this week with his underpants the wrong way around.
168	Danielle Ward	He’s not my cup of tea.
169	Trev & Simon	Who thought he didn’t need a belt today and he was wrong; he does need a belt today.
170	Jess Phillips	Who can still smell the fart that either Trevor or Simon did in the dressing room last week.
171	Mackenzie Crook	Who is not sure how he is going to get home tonight, as it is cold, apparently, and that is enough to stop trains working.
172	All Killa No Filla	Whose nose is still red from last week, but you can’t hear that on the radio, thank goodness.
173	Katherine Ryan	Who does not want you to look at him but he saw some people looking at him.
174	Peter Baynham	Who has been standing on drawing pins but has through acupuncture cured his headaches.
175	Brian Blessed	He’s a little boy and all of his dreams have finally come true.
176	Pippa Evans	Who still has Brian Blessed’s voice ringing in his ears.
177	Maria Bamford	Who knows what polyorchid means and isn’t afraid to admit it to strangers.
178	Sophie Willan	Who is about to perform to a room full of orphans.
179	Desiree Burch	Who has just used a Biro in the dressing room, which someone else’s spit came out of and leaked onto the page he was writing with, but whose spit was it? I don’t know.
180	Al Murray	Who is removing the clothes pegs from his penis and testicles right now.
181	My Dad Wrote a Porno	Who has a fantastic system for finding his way on and off stage.
182	Mark Steel	Who is shooting  blue sperm over George the sound man as we speak.
Machynlleth Special	Jessica Fostekew / Holly Burn	Who last night gave Michael Sheen a sticky handshake.
183	Jonathan Ames	Who has discovered a new wall-based mission in life.
184	Alex Horne	Who had a noise that he did with his friends at school. It was, *makes high-pitched strangled noise*.
185	Ross Noble	Who, despite being a grown-up, spent six hours in a theatre watching a play about a child wizard this week.
Manchester Special	Toby Hadoke	Who has just eaten his first Indian Scotch egg.
186	Lou Sanders	Who doesn’t have a bad word to say about Alec Jones.
Manchester Special	Glenn Wool	Who’s been here a week waiting for this show. It’s been terrible.
187	Alice Lowe	Who just before the show spilled an entire cup of coffee over his desk and his computer and his watch and his phone.
188	Jess Robinson	It’s the horny time-traveller himself.
189	Drunk Women Solving Crime	Who this week was heckled by a dog.
190	Greg Davies	Who’s just been advised to do his belt up backstage.
191	Rose Matafeo	Whose breath smells rather too much of garlic, for which I apologize to the people in the front row.
192	Nish Kumar	Who’s really looking forward to meeting Michael Sheen.
193	James O’Brien	Who doesn’t know who broke his front gate this morning. He just doesn’t know who it was.
194	Amanda Abbington	Who is still drunk from last week’s show. How did that happen?
195	Joe Lycett	Who today on Twitter has tweeted a picture of him holding a gigantic stone and looking delighted.
196	Fingers on Buzzers	Who is still drunk on last week’s one beer.
197	Rick Edwards	Who is back on the telly! He’s been on the telly!
198	Sanjeev Bhaskar	Who, even thought he’s playing for time, has nothing to say.
199	Terry Hall	Who’s got something back here that he wants to show you.
200	Adam Buxton	Who’s done this 199 times before.
201	Sathnam Sanghera	Who doesn’t understand why he’s in Bilston Town Hall.
Slapstick Festival Special	Tim Vine	N/A
Slapstick Festival Special	Damon Beesley & Joe Thomas	N/A
Slapstick Festival Special	The Goodies	N/A
202	Jon Ronson	Who wears his own merchandise when he exercises at the gym.
203	Emily Atack	Who has just sold one of his livers for Jesus. He’s not feeling that well, actually.
204	Rob Brydon	Who has been taking pictures of a four year-old girl on a toilet. It will be explained.
205	David Morrissey	It’s been a week since the last one and Richard Herring has not lost any weight at all.
206	Peter Lord	Who saw The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle in this venue in the early 1980’s.
207	Kerry Howard	Who has just signed a billion dollar deal to make his badger-based Aardman show. It’s going really well.
208	James Acaster	Who thought his last podcast at the Leicester Square Theatre might be his last one and you’re about to find out why.
209	London Hughes	Who has just done a wee with no blood in it.
210	Suzi Ruffell	Who now only works Mondays.
211	Joel Dommett	Who has committed many crimes, but the police will never catch him.
212	Matt Forde	Whose stand-up is much better in the warm-up than it is in the actual podcast.
213	Les Dennis	Who has literally just made up this introduction right now. That’s how amazing at ad-lib he is.
214	Matt Lucas	Who as we record this has just been spending another whole day on Twitter talking to idiots about International Men’s Day.
215	Rosie Jones	Whose second job is testing microphones.
216	Tiff Stevenson	Who like last week’s guest has just released his own fragrance.
217	Adrian Chiles	Who’s wearing the same jumper he’s wearing in the poster for this tour.
218	Nicholas Parsons	Who has become a bit too obsessed with the Wiggles.
219	Do the Right Thing	Who, if his career lasts as long as Nicholas Parsons, has at least 44 more years to go. Aw, fucking hell.
Long Division Festival Special	Kay Mellor	Who hopes that this first podcast is going to go better than the first one did in Leeds.
220	Alice Roberts	Who’s just been home and met the girl he fancied when he was ten years-old.
Long Division Festival Special	Rob Rouse	Who’s spent the last week eating nothing but rhubarb.
221	No Such Thing As A Fish	It’s the last show of this run, but has the host lost enough weight in order to wear his suit? Nobody knows in this audience; that’s for sure.
Henley Festival Special	Fiona Allen	Who has got a massive crowd in here. You won’t believe it when you hear it at home.
Great Yorkshire Fringe Special	Rebecca Callard	Who is doing this podcast at the New Town Theatre in the Edinburgh Fringe at 1:30pm daily – not Monday – details at richardherring.com
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Laura Lexx / Tony Law	Who’s going to be sliding into your downloads with indecent frequency through August, and is very ill and can’t really speak.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Lucy Beaumont / Scummy Mummies	Who has now seen four ghosts.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Jena Friedman / Phil Wang	Who has just seen his first Edinburgh Fringe Show.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Sophie Duker / Vikki Stone	Who’s just had a Pret A Manger lobster roll. Ooh la la. Someone’s Fringe is going well. Or very badly.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Jayde Adams / David O’Doherty	Who has just had another opportunity to assassinate another major political figure. Let’s find out if he did it.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Snjólaug Lúðvíksdóttir / John Robins	Who is currently regretting having sex before marriage.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Spencer Jones / Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie	Who, like everyone in this audience, is rather damp today.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Steph Tisdell / Jen Brister	Who thinks there might have been another ghost in his dressing room just now. He’s not sure.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Isma Almas / Tony Slattery	Who is suddenly regretting all the things he said about Prince Andrew.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Lauren Pattison / Geoff Norcott	Who has finally achieved his lifetime ambition and is now going to stop.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Richard Osman	Who’s hoping that his audience didn’t just have a fight with Stewart Lee’s audience. (I hope you did. I hope you won.)
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Rob Auton / Lost Voice Guy	Who is doing his 25th Fringe but still doesn’t know where anywhere in Edinburgh is.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Bryony Kimming / Arabella Weir	Who is currently on the run from the police.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Sunil Patel / Daliso Chaponda	Who is currently living his own personal Groundhog Day.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Fern Brady / Josie Long	Who is worried that Al Murray might be the new messiah.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Rich Wilson / Sarah Kendall	That can’t believe he’s still at the Edinburgh Fringe. This can’t still be going on.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Sukh Ojla / Tommy Tiernan	Who has walked past Judy Murray in the street and shared a dressing room with Barbara Dickson. I can’t believe he hasn’t told you those two facts already.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Susan Murray / Alice Fraser	Who is sick to death of disgusting audiophiles.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	George Egg / Cally Beaton	Who yesterday backstage met Moira from Molly and Mack and has never been more delighted, even though you don’t know who that is.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Thom Tuck / Tom Rosenthal	Who’s made the second-most controversial shaving decision of his life.
Edinburgh Festival Fringe Special	Flo & Joan / John Kearns	Who’s been up since 4:00am, tidying his house as well. It’s been a nightmare.
222	Angela Barnes	Who is wearing his wedding suit and has just remembered why he hasn’t worn this in five years.
223	Stephen Grant	Who has a strange sense of déjà vu, which probably means that he is lying in a hospice bed somewhere, if you listened to the last podcast and just imagining this is happening.
224	Mark Charnock & Dominic Brunt	Who thinks he might be on magic mushrooms; he’s not sure.
225	Jimmy Cricket	He’ll be on fire by the end of this show.
226	Sarah Millican	Who doesn’t care of the theatre is on fire, like Jason Manford does, the pussy.
227	Russell Howard	Who dresses like this all the time – I don’t know what you’re talking about.
228	Sara Barron	Who does not send his children to public school because they’re not old enough yet.
RHLSTPGF	Deborah Frances-White & Siobhan McSweeney	And a woman who are looking forward to a mash-up.
229	Michael Sheen	Who’s come back from holiday in Devon for this.
230	Ed Gamble	Who’s come back for another week from his holiday. His wife’s gonna be furious with him.
231	Bobby Mair	Who is deeply regretting his winter choice in deciding to wear a big jumper during all of these shows.
232	Caroline Quentin	We’re back again for another week. And you can tell it’s a different week because the man presenting it isn’t wearing the same clothes.
233	Shaun Williamson	Who wishes he was in Houdini’s Magic Bar, because that’s where the cool kids go.
234	Vic Reeves	Who’s happy to wait 20 years to find out what his face would look like when he’s 70.
235	Max & Ivan	Who first exchanged corn in this building in 1995. I genuinely did with Stewart Lee; it was a hilarious joke we did.
236	Grayson Perry	Who couldn’t believe, like most of you, that Pret wasn’t even open today. What’s going on?
237	Annabel Giles	Who has allegedly been filmed satisfying himself.
238	Ian McMillan	Who is hoping he will not be heckled by any hardcore knitters today.
239	Simon Evans	Who is worried that he might have let down a squirrel.
240	Seann Walsh	Who’s wearing the same shirt as last week, but that’s possible, right? Because you could have had it washed. It’s a week. It’s been a week.
241	Jenny Eclair	Who can’t believe he’s furious he’s about to perform in front of a room full of bung thieves.
242	Graham Fellows	Who was born in Pocklington and thus everyone in this audience is his sworn enemy.
243	Grace Petrie	N/A
244	Lucy Beaumont	Who this week accidentally drank a real beer.
245	Mark Olver	Who the last time he was here he was sitting in a royal box with Syd Little, and that’s true.
246	Jayde Adams	Who’s just done a number four on the Bristol stool scale.
247	Tape Face	Who, despite what rumours you may have heard, is not having an ice cream party.
248	Nick Frost	Who is Richard Herring, version seven.
249	Ahir Shah	Who first appeared on this stage in 1988. Before his guest was born, I think. Yep, just had that confirmed.
250	John Kearns	Who is sick and tired of dealing with all the rubbish his daughter is bringing home.
251	Francesca Stavrakopoulou	Who has come with some corn to exchange. Can’t wait to find out what he’s going to get for it.
252	Mike Wozniak	Who has been today terrified by a balloon.
253	Dave Johns	Who you haven’t just seen. This is the first time you’ve seen him, remember. Who has just owned Piers Morgan, according to The Poke website.
254	Seymour Mace	Whose life has been disrupted by squirrels.
255	Robin Ince	Who is always the first with your vagina news.
256	Athena Kugblenu	Who’s just been imagining throwing his children down some stairs.
257	David Reed	Who just put a bet on and got the right score and everything, but he cashed out too soon, the idiot.
258	Jon Parkin	Who’s terrified about being in the most haunted city in Europe.
259	Kate Robbins	Who’s tripping off his nuts on no sleep.
260	Frank Cottrell-Boyce	Who is hoping to get into a fight tonight, as per usual in Liverpool.
261	George Monbiot	Who appeared on this stage in 1989 playing [unclear] in A Month in the Country. People are still talking about it to this day. I’m a person; it still counts.
262	Paul Sinha	Who has been wandering around Oxford with la recherche du temps perdu.
263	Tim Minchin	Who has been lauded in The Spectator magazine this week.
264	Sara Pascoe	Who has been passing on his stone-clearing knowledge to the next generation.
265	Janice Connolly	Who has a 6 by 3 snooker table in the back of his car.
266	Bethany Black	Who is going to stage dive all through this show.
267	Rachel Parris	Who’s so tired he left his Stranger Things notebook at home.
268	Charlie Brooker	Who wishes he was still at school.
269	Olga Koch	Who is disgusted to return to Cambridge with the most disgusting Travel Lodge in the world in it.
270	Konnie Huq	Who now equates illness with drunkenness.
271	Rev. Richard Coles	Who has just walked down the scariest High Street he’s ever been on.
272	Steve McNeil	Who has just found Jesus, so now it’s his turn to hide.
273	Fern Brady	Who is disappointed he didn’t get the interview with Prince Andrew.
274	Limmy	We have got – amazingly – exactly the same number of people in the audience as last week. It’s the equal biggest show ever.
275	Michael Palin	Who has just retired from his most lucrative job he’s ever done.
276	Aisling Bea	Who has Michael Palin’s address and is going to go there to spend Christmas with him because he said it was okay. He said he’d be his dad.
277	Adam Buxton	N/A
278	Michael Spicer	N/A
279	Mark Watson	N/A
280	Bill Burr	N/A
281	Robert Webb	Who’s been wearing a bum bag on his face.
282	Kiri Pritchard-McLean	Who is wearing his swimming trunks still from yesterday. Not pleasant.
283	James Acaster	Who thought he was playing the O2.
284	Richard Osman	Who’s just seen a bunny rabbit. I was out with my dog.
285	Greg Jenner	Who has just had a shower; that’s why his hair looks like it’s been cut. It hasn’t been cut.
286	Lauren Pattison	Who has not prepared an introduction to himself ’cause that’s insane; he’s already here.
287	Maisie Adam	Who’s been imagining drones in a field.
288	Nathan Caton	Who’s just had his tarot cards read.
289	Daniel Sloss	Who’s just finished writing his book. (“First draft.” “Shut up!”)
290	Jo Caulfield	Who’s back in the big time.
291	Bettany Hughes	Who’s, oh, arguing with his wife about eggs.
292	Bilal Zafar	Who is nearly finished his book.
293	Sophie Duker	Who’s back from holiday.
294	Sindhu Vee	Who’s travelling in time and space.
295	Maria Konnikova	N/A
296	Michael Fenton Stevens	Who’s broken his knobs.
297	Michael Ian Black	Who’s just been up and down the stairs and is out of breath.
298	Stevie Martin	Who’s been struggling with cupboards all week and is now struggling with technology.
299	John Kearns	N/A
300	Richard Herring (interviewed by John Robins)	N/A
301	Ed Gamble	Who has not thought of anything to say at the start.
302	Nell Scovell	Whose book is out tomorrow.
303	Arthur Mathews	Who’s been drawing cocks on pieces of paper.
304	Kiell Smith-Bynoe	Me! It’s Richard Herring!
305	Alistair Green	Who’s got a big, bushy moustache.
306	Marek Larwood	N/A
307	Rhod Gilbert	Who’s in Santa’s grotto.
308	Lou Conran	Who’s babysitting his own kids. You’re not allowed to call it that. I’m looking after them. If anything goes wrong we’ll be in trouble.
309	Alexei Sayle	Who’s accidentally drinking peanut, pecan, maple, and vanilla milk stout.
310	Catherine Bohart	Who’s just been serenaded by a bottomless muffin man.
311	Nina Conti	Who is sitting in a chair.
312	Dr Sophie Hay	Who is now a film star and too good for this.
313	Ashley Storrie	Who’s – look it – I’m wearing a running top. What has become of me?
314	Danny Robins	Who has got two broken hoovers.
315	Nish Kumar	Who’s just delighted to be out of the house.
316	Lou Sanders	Who can’t believe how quickly the last week has gone.
317	Iszi Lawrence	Who keeps forgetting that he has to do this keep – uh – introducing himself thing and doesn’t come up with anything.
318	Alice Fraser	Who can’t believe he’s going to be talking to someone in Australia.
319	Mary Lynn Rajskub	Who’s 12 hours away from an operation.
320	Jeremy Paxman	He’s back from the dead.
321	Brian Regan	Who’s had the vaccine and is licking everything.
322	John Oliver	Who is just walking in now.
323	Dominik Diamond	Who’s had chemo five days ago.
324	Andi Osho	Who’s a bona fide Legend of Lockdown.
325	Pippa Evans	Who’s devastated by the death of Prince Philip.
326	Anneka Rice	Who’s still two weeks from a haircut.
327	Catie Wilkins	Who had baked beans for lunch and just realized this is the only recording he’s done in over a year where he’s not allowed to fart during it.
328	Mae Martin	Who’s being haunted by a giant, inflatable Boris Johnson.
329	Felicity Ward	Who’s just seen some hares in a field.
330	Jackie Weaver	N/A
331	Nigel Planer	Who has returned to where he was spawned, almost. Not really, because I was born in Yorkshire.
332	Geoff Norcott	He’s got a bit of a cold. It’s not Covid… probably. He could be the new Covid Mary
333	Sarah Kendall	Who can’t believe he’s about to be able to do his “You’re much better than last week’s audience” joke again, for the first time in ages.
334	Jessie Cave	Whose kids have lost all respect for him, but they had no respect for him anyway.
335	Johnny Vegas	Who’s finally got a guest for this week’s show.
336	John Robins	Who has one fan in Angola.
337	David Baddiel	Who’s been solo parenting and is amazed that he’s still got two kids.
338	Isy Suttie	Who almost made an indecent proposal to his friend’s wife.
339	No Such Thing As A Fish	Who’s still sweaty from last week and you know what that means.
340	Robin Askwith	Who has run 20 miles in the last eight days.
341	James Acaster & Ed Gamble	Who’s just taken his own photo for his own obituary.
342	Jay Rayner	Who’s had to deal with his son’s dirty penis.
343	Matthew Holness	Who’s just realized [unclear].
344	Stevie Martin & Tessa Coates	Who tried and failed to sleep in a bath.
345	Barry Cryer	Who’s just been having sex with a clone of himself.
346	Bob Mortimer	Whose dizziness has abated.
347	The ParaPod	Who is currently retracting his penis.
348	David Mitchell	Who ran over ten miles yesterday.
349	Tim Key	Who’s got a bottom like a cannon.
350	Louise Wener	Who has written his joke for 2021.
351	Adam and Joe	Whose daughter has taken up his mantle as a fantastic story-writer.
352	Katherine Ryan	Who’s deliberately teaching his kids the wrong things.
353	Shaparak Khorsandi	Who’s done nothing this week except move some logs about. He’s going to try and get five minutes of stand-up out of that.
354	Dave Gorman	Who can’t stop thinking about a man he walked past 30 years ago.
355	Phil Wang	Who people in ten thousand years’ time will still be reading and listening to. If you’re listening to this in ten thousand years’ time: Hello. From the past. Do you understand my language?
356	Ben Shephard	Who ran 11 miles yesterday but still didn’t escape himself.
357	Deborah Meaden	Who is considering the boorish nature of gravity.
358	Emma Dabiri	Who has an idea that will revolutionize the game of association football.
359	Miriam Margolyes	Who can’t show his face in his village ever again.
360	Margaret Cabourn-Smith	Who’s burst more car tires in 2021 than he has testicles.
361	Chris Lynam	Whose love affair with Barry Manilow has just been rekindled.
362	Peter Baynham	It’s 2022 and he’s remote podcasting by choice.
363	Laura Lexx	Who carried on podcasting when he’d just had a testicle removed, so Covid can’t stop him.
364	Laura Jean Marsh	He’s still self-isolating. He’s still in his pyjamas.
365	Gráinne Maguire	Who’s still wearing the same pyjamas as he was wearing last week. He’s disgusting.
366	David Cross	Who’s an inspiration to rowers.
367	Ahir Shah	The man that COVID couldn’t kill.
368	Mark Watson	Who has all his own hair.
369	Jon Culshaw	N/A
370	Joz Norris	Who hates Leicester and everyone in it.
371	Rebecca Wheatley	Who you might not be able to spot because he’s just a pile of leaves.
372	Paul Chuckle	Who’s considering going into politics.
373	Dr Janina Ramirez	Who’s never had a gargoyle fall on him yet but there’s still time.
374	Charley Boorman	Who nearly killed a woman in the audience yesterday.
375	Terry Christian	Who’s furious about Big Cook, Little Cook.
376	Maria Bamford	N/A
377	Jamie Demetriou	Who’s recently spent three hours at a children’s party and is still exhausted from it.
378	Samira Ahmed	Who’s been attempting to mend his brain.
379	Armando Iannucci	Who’s finally finished his latest book on bollocks.
380	Rosie Holt	Who’s fucked Armando’s mum.
381	Deborah Frances-White	Who’s just had a very important moment with his son.
382	Ardal O’Hanlon	You may have seen in the Daily Express.
383	Lazy Susan	Who’s just talked to his wife. She’s very keen to have an open relationship; just immediately said that was fine.
384	Amy Gledhill	Whose children have forced him to re-evaluate the whole of Easter.
385	Dara Ó Briain	Who never eats mixed berry Soleros. Why do you keep asking me about it?
386	Alan Davies	Who once presented Top of the Pops and is now doing this.
387	Dick and Dom	Who yesterday went to Harry Potter World, and when he got home he found that £350 had magically disappeared from his account.
388	Bilal Zafar	Who’s been burned by his seven year-old daughter.
389	Seann Walsh	Who this week has lost his best friend.
390	Kunt and the Gang	Who’s the only person in the world to be a Champion of Champions of both House of Games and Taskmaster.
391	Meryl O’Rourke	Who’s probably best known for all the work he does helping Ukrainian refugees.
392	Daliso Chaponda	Who is up past his bedtime like some of the children in the front row.
393	Harriet Dyer	The Duke of Edinburgh is dead; the King of Edinburgh is mostly alive.
394	Kiri and Rachel	Who’s run five kilometers this morning and he hasn’t stopped.
395	Conrad Koch	Who stayed up past 11:00pm last night.
396	Vir Das	Who’s just been knocking his balls around in a kids’ show at the Pleasance.
397	Janey Godley	Who’s five days in and he’s already knackered.
398	Flo & Joan	Who’s working an hour a day without a day off for twelve days in a row. He’s already done five days. How is he managing it?
399	John Robins	Who has spawned the enemy.
400	Janeane Garofalo	Who has done this far too many times.
401	Ed Gamble	Who’s got a duck bone to pick with Pizza Express.
402	Tim Key	Who has now seen Janeane Garofalo and the Gruffalo at the same Edinburgh Fringe.
403	Sanjeev Kohli	Who’s been socializing more with chess pieces than he has with human beings.
404	Omid Djalili	Who’s on holiday in one hour’s time.
405	Doug Stanhope	N/A
406	Reece Shearsmith	Who’s about to start his 25th series of this podcast.
407	Eleanor Morton	Who has been to church in the last 24 hours.
408	Pierre Novellie	Who’s considering buying an island.
409	Sally Phillips	Who wants to express his profound grief at the death of Queen Elizabeth II, like Greggs and everyone.
410	Bob Mortimer	Who’s just stolen some of Stewart Lee’s Lynx.
411	The Socially Distant Sports Bar Podcast	Who was nearly sucked off by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
412	Sara Pascoe	Who knows how Prince George feels at the moment.
413	Chris McCausland	Who is overwhelmed by the passage of time.
414	Ria Lina	Who is returning to his birthing place to spawn, so watch out ladies.
415	Joe Lycett	Who can’t trust his own memory.
416	James Acaster	Who’s been told he’ll be sent off if he wears his armband.
417	Anneka Rice	Who’s been cut up from the butt up.
418	Victoria Coren Mitchell	Who’s just booked Captain Dick for a children’s party.
419	Philippa Perry	Who’s just been told he had his kids too late.
420	Humphrey Ker	Who’s actually taking a holiday next week, But only from the theatre; the podcast will still come out.
421	Mathew Baynton & Jim Howick	Who’s still only had three hours sleep, even though a week has passed.
422	Sarah Keyworth	Whose one testicle is growing its own testicle.
423	Rich Hall	Who in this universe has decided to come onstage.
424	Sikisa	Who’s come up with a new fruit-naming system.
425	Paul Chowdhry	Who has come up with a brand-new drug.
426	Sophie Ellis-Bextor	Who’s finally got his blue passport.
427	Stephen Merchant	Who was hoping to have a bridge named after him, sort of.
428	Fern Brady	Who is not going to the Edinburgh Fringe this year.
429	Josh Widdicombe	Whose zombie dreams have come true.
430	Tim Key	Who’s still processing the Edinburgh Fringe 1988.
431	Zoe Lyons	Who has reneged on his Valentine’s Day promise.
432	Joe Cornish	Who is disappointed by Wotsits Crunchy Flamin Hot crisps.