Title: Beige Towel

acast Time: 1:00:38
Youtube Time: N/A

Original Record Date: Unknown
acast Publication Date: January 24, 2023
Youtube Publication Date: N/A

Please Welcome a Man
Who is currently off his tits on Lemsip Max.

Acronym Modification
N/A

Cool Kids
I was hanging out with the surviving presenters of GV News. Sounds like there’s been an atrocity there; maybe by the time this comes out. I think maybe by the time this comes out, probably by the time this comes out, that’s just Mark Dolan. Mark Dolan: A man who presented Balls of Steel and thought, No, I can still go lower. He says that only woke people call it…

Guest Best Known
As Vlad the Imposter from Minder.

Audience

Better or Worse than Last Week: N/A
Like or Unlike Wikipedia: N/A

Member Member Note
N/A N/A

Emergency Questions

Who’s the most surprising famous person you’ve been in a lift with? And which I mean, you can’t have gotten into the lift with them; they had to be in the lift you were in.

We went to a party and Fiona Bruce got into the lift. That’s pretty good. *RH notes that the audience is unimpressed with this answer.* No, okay? Well, it’s a hard job. You’ve got to say, it’s a hard job she has. *RH states that he prefers the Antiques Roadshow version.* Yeah. Yeah, she’s a classy lady.

If you could take one item from any museum or art gallery – and you’re allowed to take it home with you – in the world, what would you take?

Oh wow. What an interesting question. Well, I’ve got a reproduction in my hallway of The Great Bear, which is, you know, the tube station where they’ve replaced every line with a different theme. Actors, cross with kings, cross with explorers, but I’ve already got a version of that. It wouldn’t do me that much good, having the original. Not really. *RH points out that the original would not be very expensive.* I wouldn’t be doing it for the money, Richard. What would I most like to…? I’d quite like The Thinker. It’s a big chunk of stone. Doing the [unclear]. Yeah, I think that – When you’re thinking, pondering, and you’re writing, I think that I could draw inspiration from that. It’s going in the garden, next to the trampoline.

Do you ever get confused with *another person with the same name as guest*?

Uh, yeah, I’ve heard of this guy. He’s quite an inspirational speaker, I think. Well, his photo would often appear in… You know… When you – you know – your name is Googled by somebody. Looking over their shoulder. And there’s lots of images of weird, weird characters. And then you get this other Steve Pemberton encroaching. For a while he was one of my main pictures. Um, so I took him out. He’s not a work human anymore. No, I’ve not come across him. I think he’s written a couple of books, um, and I think he was an orphan. And I think he’s written a lot about inclusivity in the workplace and diversity, so good on him. I’ve done my bit here, he’s done his bit in the States.

Notes

This is SP’s second appearance.

RH notes that the Off Menu podcast is recording at the Royal Albert Hall.

RH is wearing his wedding suit.

RH notes that there are new chairs.

RH is ill; he surmises that he caught a bug from Lauren Pattison.

RH asks SP to suggest the most median episode of Inside No. 9.

RH tells a story about wrongly being accused of stealing a Trix.

RH notes that he would love to have Lily Allen as a podcast guest.

RH tells story about taking magic mushrooms at Glastonbury. While high he saw the devil masturbating.

RH discusses other people named Richard Herring.