A hallmark of any RHLSTP episode is Richard Herring’s use of bits, catchphrases, and references. The below is probably only a partial list. These terms or phrases have been integrated into the categories of this site, where the category is included when the bit/catchphrase/reference is used during the podcast episode. Below is a glossary to provide context.
Any categories in a blog post not included here are shows or projects undertaken by Richard Herring (for example, Fist of Fun, Scope, Talking Cock, Warming Up, etc.). These were also referenced during any podcast episode where the category is applied.
| Bit / Catchphrase / Reference | Definition |
| 13 from House | RH expresses interest in sleeping with 13 from House (the character, not the actress) |
| 70’s/80’s television | RH make reference to his love of television produced during these decades |
| Adam Sandler | RH notes the terrible quality of Sandler’s films (particularly The Cobbler), his interest in interviewing Sandler, or his general obsession with Sandler |
| Addams Family pinball | RH mentions playing this game, either in arcade game-form or on his iPad |
| advise audience member not to try to join in/be funny | Occurs after an audience members makes a moderately-to-not-funny remark |
| Alan Sugar biography title | After Sugar appealed for potential autobiography titles, RH suggests several |
| Amy Pond from Doctor Who | RH expresses interest in sleeping with Amy Pond from Doctor Who (the character, not the actress) |
| Andrew Collins’s book as ballast | RH notes that when shipping merchandise, Chris Evans uses comedian Andrew Collins’s book for stability |
| Ann Widdicombe | RH expresses interest in sleeping with Anne Widdicombe, noting the challenge of it |
| aphantasia | RH notes that he is unable to visualize items or that he cannot hold an image in “his mind’s eye” |
| arm heroins/nose cocaines/lung cannabis | RH makes any of these references when discussing illegal drugs |
| assassination opportunity | RH notes that he could have murdered British politicians Michael Gove (with a broken bottle when he saw Gove walking alone with his children), Nigel Farage (when they were walking alone in the same dark hallway), or John McDonnell (at the 2019 Edinburgh Festival Fringe) |
| audience being able to leave if they like | RH normally states this if there is a lull or if the episode runs particularly long |
| audience not laughing at brilliant joke | RH admonishes the audience for not recognizing his comedic brilliance |
| audience of nerds | RH refers to all of his fans or audience members as “nerds” |
| average audience member | Average RH fan or audience member is referred to as being male, working in IT, and/or having a beard |
| badge/badger | RH refers to badge merchandise; purchasers of badges are called “badgers” |
| BBC conspiracy of silence/BBC employees being found out/Operation Yewtree | RH references police investigation into sexual abuse allegations against British media personalities |
| Big Bluie/Old Bluie/favourite towel | RH mentions his favourite towel, Big Bluie/Old Bluie |
| bottom as seat of all falsehood | During early episodes, RH would put prizes on offer for audience members who correctly responded to true/false statements. To indicate that a statement was true, audience members placed their hands on their heads. To indicate that a statement was false, audience members placed their hands on their bottoms, which RH called “the seat of all falsehood”. |
| Brian Blessed | RH makes references to actor Brian Blessed, such as wishing him as a guest, asking the current guest if they have ever met Blessed, or making reference to the interview with him |
| celebrity deaths/tragedies prior to podcast publication | RH predicts a tragic celebrity death or catastrophic event occurring between the episode recording and the episode being published |
| Celebrity Mastermind | RH mentions his obsession with winning panel show Celebrity Mastermind or his failure to do so |
| celebrity shag list | RH mentions his and/or wife Catherine Wilkins’s list of celebrities they are each allowed to sleep with without penalty |
| champagne bottle sodomy attempt | RH tells story of a sexual partner attempting to sodomize him with an empty champagne bottle |
| Charley Boorman, Brad Pitt, or Michael J. Fox lookalike | RH notes that he looks like any of these people, or tells story about being mistaken for any of them |
| Cheddar cheese | RH notes that Cheddar is the best type of cheese |
| choking on apricot stone | RH references his near-death experience of choking on an apricot stone and the embarrassment he felt |
| Chris Evans (not that one) | RH references Chris Evans of Go Faster Stripe |
| Civilization | RH recounts his extensive time playing this video game |
| CJ from Eggheads | RH notes that professional quizzer CJ de Mooi is the worst Egghead, or references the murder CJ claimed to have possibly committed |
| cloaca joke | RH tells joke with cloaca-related punchline |
| Colin Baker worst Doctor Who | RH notes that Colin Baker was the worst to play the Doctor and/or Baker’s anger at hearing RH’s comments |
| comedy Googlewhack/nostalgia comedians/Peter Kay | RH refers to Peter Kay’s brand of nostalgia comedy. More frequently, refers to his own brand of comedy/goal as making a reference that only one audience member will laugh at. |
| comparison of audience member potential success with RH’s actual success | RH normally points this out when an audience member or Internet troll suggests that RH is not funny or successful in comedy |
| cool IRA Brighton Bombing statement | RH refers to IRA statement after the 1984 Brighton hotel bombing, where they stated that then-Prime Minister Thatcher “will now realise that Britain cannot occupy our country and torture our prisoners and shoot our people in their own streets and get away with it. Today we were unlucky, but remember we only have to be lucky once. You will have to be lucky always”. RH states that this is the coolest statement ever made by a terrorist. |
| creating Alan Partridge | RH claims that he created the character of Alan Partridge, sometimes noting that Stewart Lee was a co-creator |
| credit card drop | RH recounts story of being approached by “a fan” who actually just wanted to return a dropped credit card. RH may also note that this story was stolen and incorporated into an episode of Alan Partridge. |
| CW being 13 years younger than RH | RH mentions that his wife, Catherine Wilkins, is 13 years younger than him |
| CW dislikes Me 1 vs. Me 2 | RH mentions that his wife, Catherine Wilkins, dislikes his podcast Me 1 vs. Me 2, wherein RH plays snooker against himself |
| CW liking Sawyer from Lost | RH mentions that his wife, Catherine Wilkins, includes actor Josh Holloway on her celebrity shag list |
| CW not finding RH funny | RH mentions that his wife, Catherine Wilkins, does not think he is funny |
| Darth Vader notebook | RH mentions his Darth Vader (Star Wars) notebook, in which he writes his questions or notes for the podcast interview |
| dating Julia Sawalha | RH mentions having dated actor Julia Sawalha |
| dating Sally Phillips | RH mentions having dated actor and comedian Sally Phillips |
| David “Bad-deal,” as my father calls him | RH alludes to his father’s pronunciation of David Baddiel’s last name, or pronounces it that way himself |
| deadpool – Prince Philip v. Nelson Mandela | During their concurrent illnesses, RH states that the first of these men to die will be an indication by God as to whether or not racism is an appropriate world-view |
| death of Kenneth Kendall | During early episodes, RH would put prizes on offer for audience members who correctly responses to true/false statements. One of these statements was often that British broadcaster Kenneth Kendall had died. |
| Desert Island Dicks | RH asks the guest to name eight Richards to take to a desert island. Where this category is selected, the Richards named by the guest are included in the “Notes” section of the episode entry. |
| diphallia/bifurcation | RH mentions the medical condition of having two penises |
| Dirty Britcom Confessions | RH references the blog of this name, where fans anonymously confess fantasies about British comedians. RH may read out confessions that include guests, or even act some of these out with guests (including Greg Davies and Nick Helm). |
| disinterest in music | RH mentions that he is not that interested in music, preferring to listen to comedy |
| don’t like British/regional porn | RH notes this personal porn-related taste |
| doppelganger/Me 2 | RH notes that there is a doppelganger making trouble and blaming RH, sometimes referring to this person as the Me 2 of podcast Me 1 vs. Me 2 |
| double act partner less funny | RH tells guest that their double partner is less funny than them, or that he himself was part of a double act where his partner was less funny |
| double act partner more successful | RH tells guest that their double partner is more successful than them, or that he himself was part of a double act where his partner was more successful |
| double act that gets along | RH is astounded that the guest is a member of a double act that has a good relationship |
| drinking whiskey alone | RH mentions deriving great satisfaction from arriving home from a gig late at night and drinking whiskey alone while his family sleeps |
| editing the podcast | RH tells audience or guest that they will edit passages from the podcast, without actually intending to |
| Elmo’s Song | RH references the song from Sesame Street, including the fact that Big Bird was a dick and tried to co-opt what was literally Elmo’s song |
| emergency question book a future religious text | RH imagines the emergency question book as being a central text of some future religion |
| Emma Watson hands/trapping or distracting pedophiles | RH notes that actress Emma Watson is his hand-double, having the exact same sized hands. RH notes that as a useful service he could jerk off pedophiles to deter them from crimes against children. |
| enjoying recording all moments of RH’s life | RH makes this observation |
| everyone having been birthed/Queen having given birth | RH make this observation |
| fans in Al-Qaeda | RH notes that members of terrorist group Al-Qaeda listen to the podcast |
| father accidentally eating lip balm | RH tells story about his father accidentally eating a lip balm wedding favour at his wedding, mistaking it for cheese |
| father’s Yorkshire Ripper story | RH tells story about his father making a speech about his wife, and it being primarily about the serial killer known popularly as the Yorkshire Ripper |
| Ferrero Rocher | RH recounts his dilemma of having to buy his wife, Catherine Wilkins, incrementally more Ferrero Rochers with each passing Valentine’s Day |
| Final Destination | RH references this movie |
| forgot PH in the car | RH recounts time he briefly forgot his daughter, Phoebe Herring, in his car, while he and his wife, Catherine Wilkins, searched for her cell phone |
| Frankie Boyle blocking RH on Twitter | RH notes that this has happened |
| fucking idiot(s) | RH calls his audience members, fans, or baby a fucking idiot(s) |
| genealogy of Jesus | RH wonders why the genealogy of Jesus includes Joseph when God is actually Jesus’s father |
| George the incompetent sound man | Reference to RHLSTP sound man George |
| getting out of raising teens by dying | RH notes that as an older father he’ll avoid extensive parenthood by dying |
| Goodnight Sweetheart | RH notes his obsession with this television show, how the original got it wrong, and how he would like to reimagine it in a programme called Goodnight Goodnight Sweetheart Sweetheart |
| guest more successful/famous than RH | RH makes this observation |
| heckler with gun | RH mentions heckler who was thrown out of an RH gig and RH later discovering he was armed |
| Henry Higgins | RH calls himself a Henry Higgins-figure (the fictional character from Pygmalion/My Fair Lady), often guessing the origin of an audience member based on their accent |
| Herring’s eye | RH’s renaming of the urinary meatus |
| high-backed armchair/dancing women | RH references rumour that his fantasy was to sit in a high-backed armchair while having naked women dance before him |
| house getting egged | RH recounts his house in Shepherd’s Bush being egged by unknown assailants |
| I said egg/egg-related puns/Pliny as Stewart Lee’s best work | RH makes reference to “Histor’s Eye” sketches from This Morning With Richard Not Judy, particularly using the phrase “I said egg”, making egg-related puns, or describing Stewart Lee’s performance as being his best work |
| Ian | RH uses the name “Ian”, either for a fictional character of his own devising, or to replace an historical figure’s name; i.e., “Ian Gunpowder” as a pseudonym for Guy Fawkes |
| if that is your real name | RH makes this comment to every guest that has changed their name legally or uses a stage name |
| imagining terrible ways one’s child could die | RH’s uncontrollable illusions of his children meeting terrible ends |
| Improvisation, My Dear Mark Watson title | RH derides this television programme’s title |
| infinite Richards | RH notes that in a multiverse there are infinite versions of himself, some in which he is on television or is married to the character 13 from House, etc. |
| insects in theatre | RH observes insect problem in the Leicester Square Theatre |
| Irish accent | RH demonstrates his version of an Irish accent |
| Jimmy Savile | RH references television and radio personality’s crimes |
| Jurassic World notebook | RH mentions his Jurassic World notebook, in which he writes his questions or notes for the podcast interview |
| Konnie Huq and the Oxford/Cambridge Celebrity Charity Boat Race | RH recounts experience taking part in this charitable event, where British television presenter Huq lost control, causing RH to almost hit someone in the head with his oar |
| Lannister notebook | RH mentions his Lannister (Game of Thrones) notebook, in which he writes his questions or notes for the podcast interview |
| libel/if it’s not true, sue me | RH makes a potentially libelous statement, but says that if it’s not true the subject of the statement is welcome to indict him |
| listeners can turn off whenever they want | RH makes this observation |
| Love Actually breakdown | RH notes that he dislikes this film, but that once while watching it he started crying and thought that he would never stop |
| making porridge for CW | RH recounts making porridge with berries each morning for wife Catherine Wilkins |
| male nipple mystery | RH notes that men have nipples due to a biological template followed after conception |
| Marmite | RH mentions love of Marmite, his Marmite brand ambassadorship, or likens himself to Marmite |
| maternal line family tree | RH states that family trees should be drawn through the mother’s line, since they are the only certainty in terms of parentage |
| mid-life crisis/shagging years | RH recounts his own mid-life crisis/time of promiscuity |
| moon on a stick | RH uses catchphrase originated in Fist of Fun |
| motorcycling | RH makes reference to his motorcycle clothing sketch |
| Murphy’s Mom | RH makes reference to UK television programme, normally by singing the theme song |
| Net Worth | RH relates the guest’s net worth, which is taken from an unnamed web site. Where this category is selected, the guest’s net worth is included in the “Notes” section of the episode entry. |
| Nevermind the Buzzcocks title | RH derides this television title |
| Nevermind the Fullstops/Julian Fellowes | RH derides this television title or show concept, or tells story of telling show’s host Julian Fellowes to fuck off |
| new parents not finding violence towards children funny anymore | RH observes the hypocrisy of this |
| no taboo subjects in comedy | RH engages in conversation about how comedy should be an environment without boundaries in terms of subject |
| Nostradamus | RH makes reference to his interest in the 16th-century French oracle, or suggests that he himself has Nostradamus-like capabilities |
| Oscar Pistorius | RH alludes to the murder committed by Pistorius or his trial |
| Patrick Marber hostility | RH notes his (and often Stewart Lee’s) tense relationship with Marber |
| Paul McCartney death conspiracy | RH’s favourite conspiracy, noting that this would be an extremely complex scheme to pull off |
| Peter Baynham’s delight at RH’s grandfather’s death | RH makes reference to former roommate stating that he was delighted that RH’s grandfather had died |
| PH dislikes RH | RH states that his daughter Phoebe does not like him, or at least likes him less than she likes her mother, Catherine Wilkins |
| Pickle Rick notebook | RH mentions his Pickle Rick (Rick & Morty) notebook, in which he writes his questions or notes for the podcast interview |
| Piggate | RH alludes to the unsubstantiated claim that former British prime minister David Cameron put his cock into a dead pig’s mouth |
| Pointless Celebrities | RH mentions his obsession with winning panel show Pointless Celebrities or his failure to do so |
| postman | RH either mentions playing the character of a postman or having irked one in reality |
| profundity out of stupid/brilliant emergency question | Reference to a guest providing a particularly insightful or unexpected response to an emergency question |
| proper film star | RH distinguishes guest as an actually successful film star |
| pun names to give children | RH lists pun names to give to children with his last name (Rufus/Scarlett/Red, for example) |
| pushing CW into water | RH mentions his propensity for pushing wife Catherine Wilkins into bodies of water |
| pushing through the quiet or hysterical stage | RH notes that there is a period during a recording where there is hysteria or a lull, but pushing past this normally produces gold |
| put a Shrek in it | RH notes that shows/movies are better when they feature one Shrek (but no more than one Shrek) |
| put Tim from The Office in it | RH notes that shows/movies are better when they feature Tim from The Office, or his idea of re-shooting all of Martin Freeman’s films and having him play all roles as Tim from The Office |
| putting moves on Emma Kennedy | RH tells story of night he slept in the same bed as Kennedy, attempted to fool around with her, was rebuffed, then pretended to be asleep |
| question #, for those following along at home | After publishing the emergency question books, RH makes this statement with the associated question number when posing the question, much like a minister reading out hymn numbers at a church service, or a game show host encouraging spectators to play along at home |
| raising a super comedian | RH plans to raise a highly skilled comedian, sometimes also stating that this super comedian will out-comedy the children of Stewart Lee or David Mitchell |
| Rasputin | RH makes reference to his interest in the 19/20th-century Russian mystic, particularly his death |
| request that guest provides future guests | RH makes this request of guest |
| requests money from guest | RH makes this request of guest |
| re-tweeting Alan Sugar tweets | RH delights in re-tweeting Sugar’s tweets, particularly the ones where Sugar asks for or provides the score of a football match |
| RH and Stewart Lee children double act | RH imagines his and Stewart Lee’s children teaming up as a double act, perhaps performing Lee and Herring jokes |
| RH comes up with a joke every two years | RH makes this statement, sometimes telling the most recent joke |
| RH concerned he’s dead, dreaming, or has Alzheimer’s disease | RH expresses this concern |
| RH is tired | RH describes himself this way |
| RHLSTP Show Notes notebook | RH mentions his specially-made RHLSTP Show Notes notebook, in which he writes his questions or notes for the podcast interview |
| RH’s only fight | RH tells story of the only physical fight he ever engaged in |
| Richard Dawkins on Twitter | RH notes that Dawkins is terrible on Twitter, only re-tweeting praise he receives |
| Rick & Morty notebook | The notebook kept by RH during Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2019. The notebook was given to the audience member who attended the most podcast recordings. |
| Ricky Wilson interview | RH references the interview with Ricky Wilson, which took place at the Leed City Varieties but was never released. |
| Rod Hull | RH uses catchphrase originated in Fist of Fun |
| Scotch | RH uses the adjective “Scotch” instead of “Scottish” |
| Scottish accent | RH demonstrates his version of a Scottish accent |
| sex with robot (Gemma Chan) | RH expresses a wish to have sex with a robot, particularly one that looks like Gemma Chan’s character in the TV programme Humans |
| sexcrement | RH uses this term, frequently while speaking about his children |
| shoe concept art | RH describes his idea for a modern art exhibit where a person’s shoes throughout their life are saved and displayed in chronological order at the end of their life |
| Shreks of Westminster Bridge | RH mentions people dressed up as Shreks who frequent Westminster Bridge as a tourist attraction |
| skipping intro/Youtube viewer indicating interview start time | RH notes that in the Youtube comments viewers will provide the time mark when the interview begins |
| Sliding Doors | RH notes his dislike of this film, usually noting A) all movies are Sliding Doors, but only shown from one perspective, B) the unlikelihood of the protagonist having any interest in someone who quotes Monty Python lines, or C) the fact that his children were born in the same hospital where scenes of the film were shot |
| Slytherin notebook | RH mentions his Slytherin (Harry Potter) notebook, in which he writes his questions or notes for the podcast interview |
| smashed Edinburgh cupboards | RH recounts story of 2002 Edinburgh Festival Fringe, where all of the kitchen cupboards were broken in the apartment shared by RH, Stewart Lee, Chris Addison, and Richard Thomas |
| someone shit in RH’s yard | RH recounts the occasion where an unknown assailant shit in the yard of his Shepherd’s Bush home |
| spider voice-over | RH tells story of writing a script and performing the voice of the spider character, only to have his recording lost and it being redubbed by another actor |
| Square Pegg in a Round Hole | RH idea for a Simon Pegg vehicle |
| stealing pick ‘n’ mix | RH notes his love of stealing pick ‘n’ mix, his hope of being caught, and/or his speculation as to what would happen if he was caught |
| Stephen Merchant podcast | RH alludes to the awkward ending of the RHLSTP episode featuring Stephen Merchant |
| Stewart Lee masturbating ventriloquist dummy | RH recounts story of 1987 Edinburgh Festival Fringe at Johnston Terrace, where Stewart Lee masturbated RH with the hand of a ventriloquist dummy made by RH’s great-grandfather in 1895. Stewart Lee claimed he was trying to cheer up RH, who had been crying at the time. |
| Stewart Lee needing a fat funny man to tell jokes | RH makes this statement |
| Stewart Lee shrine/Animal Farm porn | RH tells story about Stewart Lee being invited to crash at a fan’s house after a gig, only to find that the fan’s roommates were watching the pornographic version of Animal Farm, and there was a room covered in Stewart Lee-related paraphernalia, in the manner of a shrine |
| Stewart Lee stealing RH’s ideas/jokes | RH makes this statement |
| stone clearing | RH mentions removing stones from a local field while walking his dog, often noting that his ultimate goal is to form a wall along his walking path; may also mention the associated podcast, Stone Clearing with Richard Herring |
| Stranger Things notebook | RH mentions his Stranger Things notebook, in which he writes his questions or notes for the podcast interview |
| Swansea hotel bedroom toilet | RH reminisces about the terrible hotel he was booked into after a gig in Swansea, where the toilet was in the same room as the bed |
| tallest building in hometown | RH asks the guest what is the tallest building in their hometown |
| terrorist atrocities | RH makes suggestion about possible effective or clever terrorist atrocities, including bombs in breast implants or bringing explosives in the form of Berocca tablets |
| The Actor Kevin Eldon | RH uses this phrase |
| The Truman Show | RH notes that he detests this movie |
| time between shows | RH jokes that there is only one episode filmed per week, despite there being two filmed back-to-back each week |
| Tiny Rick notebook | RH mentions his Tiny Rick (Rick and Morty) notebook, in which he writes his questions or notes for the podcast interview |
| TMWRNJ never officially cancelled | RH notes that it is possible that This Morning With Richard Not Judy may still be renewed since he never received a call regarding its cancellation |
| Travelodge shower curtain | RH tells story of finding a bogey on his hotel shower curtain while touring |
| Trip Advisor | RH reads a Trip Advisor review of the place in which the show is taking place, or of a local landmark |
| trip to Indiana | RH recounts a trip to Indiana, USA, with his wife, Catherine Wilkins. May mention either unexpected death of one of Wilkins’s family members, lunch with a supporter of President Donald Trump, or a field of crosses erected in support of the pro-life movement. |
| Twitch background | RH uses a background image on the Twitch stream. Where this category is selected, a description of the image is included in the “Notes” section of the episode entry. |
| typecast as a disgusting, dirty pervert | RH notes the show/film parts he is most often offered/awarded |
| vaginal warning | Inspired by a piece in the Metro news advising women not to insert ice lollies in their vaginas, RH advises women against putting other things in their vaginas |
| visual joke | A humourous visual event occurs, which may not make sense to those listening to audio only |
| Welsh accent | RH demonstrates his version of a Welsh accent |
| Wikipedia/IMDB research | RH references research he’s done on Wikipedia or IMDB, or notes that this is his only form of research |
| wish to be on telly | RH makes this statement |
| women are brilliant liars | RH makes this observation, normally when noting that more women should be invited on the television programme Would I Lie To You? |
| Wookiee notebook | RH mentions his Wookiee (Star Wars) notebook, in which he writes his questions or notes for the podcast interview |
| yogurt | RH mentions his love of yogurt |
| you should have married me/you all had your chance | RH uses this phrase |
| YouGov Fan | RH mentions YouGov website, which creates a profile of a given entertainer’s average fan and their preferences. RH may read out the guest’s average fan’s profile during the interview. |
| young RH deluded thoughts of grandeur | RH notes his youthful egoism, particularly his belief that future time travellers might return to study him |
| young RH rude to Ted Rogers and Don Estelle | RH mentions these encounters, particularly when asking his guest if they’d ever been rude to a celebrity when they were young |
RHLSTP! (RHLSTP!) 